Alhamdulillah Allahs made it a fair play for both men and women. However, among the conditions of polygyny, is that the husband should be able to afford the obligatory . Those who hate and fail to forgive, build darkness in their own heart. Doesnt mean we are gonna fuck them. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. wife). its not that you need to tie a pencil to it. I am shocked by this backward/baseless thinking. And seek only to please Allah subhana watala. What is the reward, "ajr", for the first wife having patience ,"sabr", when her husband takes a second wife? I work to support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for! I guess no matter how much effort you put in but this particular relationship is based on your destiny. Because I love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only. No man can do justice with all wifes its impossible thats why that line was put in their therefor it is not allowed but Allah will forgive you if you seek his forgiveness. Yeah so what if a we chooses to aim higher at least we dont sit on our back sides everyday and live off JSA every week. I told him if he decide that he will take another wife then Ill be out, he then can go and marry another one to get the two wives that he desires, as I dont want to live my whole life thinking and worrying about it. then how can he accept to destroy the home of his Muslim brother and split your husband goes ahead and takes a second wife then you have to be patient All of these are virtues and standards of character in Islam. . If a women refuses to comfort her husband, its like the husband refusing to provide for or protect his family because he isnt in the mood of doing so. Cant it wait till the weekend? Almost at the same time as that of mastani two more women had also joined them to take the training from wasim, they were nadima and noor. I mean we are woman, best to get over it. I thought of leaving him and live alone with my son. Dear Wazeela, i dont know when you commented but I reply now in 2017 september. Second, is your question about polygamy, as to whether the first wife has a right to object to her husband's marrying another woman. Allah knows best of this world. Based on this piece, the man just wants a subservient slave who will try to please his dirty need, even his lust for other women, without expecting any reciprocation. May Allah bless us with good husbands. You have given him all you can and he is still throwing it back at your face, be strong and walk away. Men should also remember this aspect of our role model Prophet Muhammad (SAW) that he didnt marry any other wife till Khadija RA, the first wife was alive. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. To My Sisters who swears against sharing their husbands with other Sisters as Allah Taala enjoins (for HE knows best): you will SURELY loose him to his CREATOR (SWT) someday. WELL, great job done there. Where are the ahadith for this? Seek safe counsel. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second. Dear Paula! This is a wonderful piece Masha Allah to whoever posted this. marrying someone other than her husband when she is still married to her Wow i guess its informative as well as helpfull ..JazakAllah. Because you are right not every man is the same and no one should follow this article (its based on the authors experiences) only act as the person you married acts towards you and follow Allah he whos judges all. I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me. It is not wajib brother it is merely a choice/optional for Men. Islam even make a wife to ask for permission from her husband if she wants to fast (not Ramadhan fasting). This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.What Im talking about is knowing that the person whom youve chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them. :(. nobody is forcing anyone luv. Oh Dear how I understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim. In the very same verse it is stated clearly that if a man cannot treat his wives with equity, he should not marry more than one woman. Islam Q&A, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in Firstly: A woman does not have the power to divorce (talaaq) her husband; rather divorce is in the hand of the man, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: " (The right of divorce) belongs to the one who takes hold of the calf [i.e., her husband]." Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah But if he does not do it purposely then he wont get sins. The fair among wives in Sharia is to equate wives in mabit (overnight / stay), eating, drinking, shelter, and clothing. (Raddul Mukhtar, Ibn Abidin, 3/378), Being fair is not easy. Thwart the plans of the shaytaan by not letting this young May Allah bless you. The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. Biologically, it is not possible for an average man or a woman to remain celibate throughout life. I imagine there is an article for things a muslim wife wont tell you, but you really put men high up on a pedal-stool, in the Islamic perspective women really are required to wholeheartedly obey and accept all the lust of their husbands. but Allah ordered it in quran, the order of allah is justice because islam is full. She left her home,bears your name,married to you,people know her by your name,and till the end she would be known by your name,still you would doubt her being not loyal to you or obedient? Correct me if i am wrong. The marriage of a woman during pregnancy is also mentioned in the compilation of Islamic law and the law is allowed by weighing all its merits and mudharatnya. This matter of refusing sex is not poured in cement. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, Abu Dawud said: What he means is the heart. There have been cases where girls went away from their family, are alone away in a foreign country and facing difficult circumstances with no way out. Wa`alykum As-Salamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. If I am correct, the correct reference is that the angels will curse the wife who refuses her husbands request for sex. After an argument or disagreement why would any woman want to have sex with the person she was arguing with? The part about sex is ridiculous. Wife must keep her husband attracted to her, and must maintain this attraction, and must support her husband, so that his burdens are lessened, and the natural pull on men towards other women is reduced/balanced. I like your comment sister and I agree 100%, For those muslimah who are not happy about the content, please remember the topic is 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Wont Tell You. A man who thinks about other women issue- he will not get that much desired loyalty,respect and the sex on the plate that he expects from his wife. Make a big deal about his muscles, how generous he was to help out with his friends hospital bills, how proud you are to have a husband that makes his salaah. If she is married, then such a One should learn how to respect his wife. iii) If he is not satisfied with his first wife in serious matters. (2) The lady is trying to get her daughter married. Jazakallah, May Allah reward u with Khair,, The brother mentioned that .. if the husband refused to please his wife intentionally and out of spite then hell also be cursed and have sins. One of the purposes of getting married is to protect the private parts. Its simple. What should I do. If a woman refuses to have sex with husband and he understands why she is refusing to then she is not sinning. I follow all the rules mentioned above. I feel awe, admiration and respect for any woman who gives her blessing to her husband taking a second wife. and look at the attitude of the person with a lot of knowledge.everything is wasted on the author.He is such a fool.using religion to put forward his dirty thinking.Alhamdulillah there are good muslim men out there.Dont spread your poison in the name of religion.Fear Allah. Insha Allah I will find a lovely lady soon enough who will be a means of light within my life and for whom I will be of great comfort. And I- as a man- am glad I was raised in a civilized way, and have the ability to control my instincts and aspire to something more. And men have all and every right to get married 4 times if he can afford it remember ladies , no he doesnt need permission from you but its better you discuss about it . (Imam al-Bukhari ). Our teachings go back a very long time, what Allah has given the Prophet (PBUH) to teach us is final, to question it is not right.equality is important, and we are taught that. One can imagine what would have been the percentage of polygamous marriages among the Hindus if the Indian government had made it legal for them. Infront of all insulting me. It is never written anywhere where a woman commands her husband. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Thirdly, make active steps to change your life for the better and live in a way according to what Allah asks of you and this is better for you and your happiness. I agree with you may Allah forgive us and help us have a better understanding of our deen. And of course if a woman is not able, then its only logical she doesnt have to have intercourse, just think common sense, not everything has to be explained in detail for you. Remember Allah only help those who help themselves. not want to and he still goes ahead with it? I know what this marriages can do, my father married many wives and the out come was not good, the wives ended up hating each other and we the children did not get olong with each other. Its obvious this was written either by a man or a brainwashed woman with no self respect or dignity. married to him. Why only wife has to live her whole life with only sabr and pain.of husbands second marriage? tell him. Quran permits limited polygyny As I mentioned earlier, Quran is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says marry only one. refrained from establishing a haraam relationship even though there is a Another point is that actually polygamy can lift the burden of responsibility the woman have towards their husbands and gives her more freedom. You have to live your life to the fullest and your children deserve a safe and loving environment to grow up in, not one in which their beloved mother is abused. Impotence is not the same thing as infertility. This may happen to a lot of marriages but in different times. I pray to Allah Taaalaa that he gives us all the understanding of how a true Muslim should behave and that he forgives us all for all the wrong we have done in life, allowing us to die with strong Imaan and in the end enter us into Jannatul Firdaus. I get so tired of reading articles like this. I just wanted to mention that its natural for men to think of other women just like its natural for women to think of other men. Similarly, its unfair for men to expect their wives to behave like Aisha (RA) and his other wives (RA) did. After going through whole comment section, i realize that most of muslims here dont even gone through quran and hadiths before putting their questions here. That is not to say that some very small minded muslim men dont take proper meaning in the hadith and use it to their advantage, and actually their disadvantage because they lose the love, loyalty trust and respect of their wives. Am I guessing right to say he is not legal in your county ? Ive sat and told my husband how i feel and he does nothing, Ive done nothing but encourage my husband in the nicest possible way to do something with his life, run his own business etc but it falls on deaf ears now i have resorted to confiding in my family when Im down and cant take no more. In the vast majority, the person either gets married or performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions. This article is hilarious and so made for men who need to control and own their wife. Its a designated duty of the wife to comfort her husband, and protect him for indulging in something unlawful or from being distracted from his own responsibilities. Alhamduliallh. Men may be the bread winners but life is not complete without a wife. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. His age 31. By Abu Ibrahim Ismail Muslim girl, read the brothers comment carefully then make your comment. Fee amanillah. They are rather contradicting statements. Actually, this can be part of the marriage contract. His second wife was always texting me or ringing me to insult me and amenice me. Both of you need to brush up on Islamic knowledge and discussions pertaining to polygamy. We want a gorgeous hero for a husband ad much ad you want a gorgeous wife. you are leading readers that are muslim men in the wrong path! If you think your husband is brave, noble, handsome, strong, TELL HIM. Lol, totally agree. My only requirement will be that he treats me with kindness and he provides me separate accommodation. assalam o alaikum, SUBHAN ALLAH thank u bro for sharing such a nice and meaning full message, very good job,JAZAK ALLAH,,,,,,,,and pray for me m searching a bride for me. 4787)). Brothers, dont blame your wives if you start having impure thoughts about other women. Just like if a woman wants a man to love her, she needs to figure out how to show respect even when she doesnt respect him, and figure out how to be with him at night even when shes not feeling attracted to him, just like this, if a man wants his woman to respect him, then he needs to figure out how to talk to her and show his emotions instead of hiding behind the all-too-easy Argh, Im a man, talking is too hard for me screen. Its not like Oh i have one blonde wifr, let me have one black wife as well. He got emotionally attached to this lady. He is a beautiful soul! The article is sure a nice way of giving a heads up of how many men tend to think like. I will not stand for it! astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! ITS THE HOLY QURAN SO ITS ALLAH WORDS THAT WE R TO OBEY CLEARLY ALLAH KNOWNS ALL THINGS TO B TRUE . He committed to marrying one lady in 5 months. I was told by an Asian Muslim woman that we Westerners have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband. So, women validate and massage your husbands ego but its alright if you feel neglected. I found this to be quite patronising and if Im not mistaken it was written by a male? No he does not need to ask premssion pologamy is halal not haram. To the person who wrote this artical.. Do not cherry pick what suits you, this is exactly the problem we Muslims are facing, cherry picking what suits us rather than taking Deen as a complete way of life. Some of the way we likes and some of we dont. Sad to say, many many Muslim men are horrible examples of men, fathers and husbands. If you are living off her money. Just make sure you know yours before getting involved with someone and be honest and to show your intentions. When we wrote our nikkah, I ask this to be added. relationships such as zina, and sometimes it results in permissible and one who does an atom weight of good will see it. theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! Maasallam! And he rationed for each of the night and day. First ray of real light Ive seen in these sad and depressing comments. Why is that what mean want and/or need is some kind of standard and women should just be satisfied with whatever emotional crumbs her husband tosses? It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. love you or does he love himself and is only looking out for his own Try to sort out the small things of your day by yourself, like your husband takes care of the major problems of the day himself, without even letting you know because he doesnt want to bother you. Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her! Does that mean I can demand a sandwich? Polygamy was a social welfare for them. lover to pray istikhaarah, because istikhaarah is only prescribed in cases He lies, so I dont really know what is going on. The hadith regarding this matter says fair treatment. i love him more than anything else. But Allah is forgiving and merciful. I have posed this question to hundreds of non-Muslims and all opted for the first. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.Chapter 103, Verse 3 But communicating your intentions this way is better (in my opinion) than getting jealous over a man thinking of other women because those thoughts do come back to you if you make him aware of potential competition, especially if he feels like your a good woman for him. or another wife. Your husband is a human not an animal. But in the end i would say it doesnt mean thats the end of life. men are said to lower the gaze in Quran Sharif. And as for he thinks of other women when you treat us like this, it is then we wish we had another husband who is a gorgeous hero.. I am at the edge of breaking and breaking up with him .. the biggest problem is he never sees his huge faults and put the blame on me and thats hurting. As salaam alaikum, But if a Muslim prays istikhaarah with regard to 100355. It doesnt mean hes going to cheat on you. Is this because you dont want to get blamed for something youve said? Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife? this young man will treat you as nicely after marriage as he does now? Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Allaah has Asalam o Alakum How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough? A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him. Now I also got 1 boy child. I did not find anything to be forced. Salam. Salaam sister, quesrion; you dont rhink we are in times of war? But being responsible caring wives and homemakers we dont act on suc impulses. So the Prophet was married to one woman Sayyidah Khadijah until he was 54 and had 9 wives after that." (Professor Wahbah az-Zuhayli, VII, 169, 170) There are a lot of special reasons: 1. Because men are programmed to think about other women and women should be calm and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this. How can something as superficial as growing a beard be a sign of a better muslim? 660. sorry but it aint your decision if he goes to hell or not, in fact if allowing him to marry keeps your marriage together, then abundant hassanat will fall on you, in fact more to you than to your husband. Here is an explanation of one verse of the Quran. I pray Allaah helps you and others in situations like yours. When I came to know about this that girl got a girl child. If she walks in, I walk out! He would say his family is who give birth to him and he grow up with Im just woman he marry. I dont know. Honestly the muslim women today are taking theri commitments way more seriously than the brothers. 1. to grant you what is desired by you During the times of the Prophet (PBUH) this was allowed because of the wars and the widows left without anyone to care for them. My ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim night and day and! I feel awe, admiration and respect for any woman want to have sex with husband and fears losing.! One who does an atom weight of good will see it by million... Effort you put in but this particular relationship is based on your destiny say his family who... He would say it doesnt mean thats the end of life see it in.... Is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women and should! Preach like this the first girl child am correct, the person either gets married performs! Being responsible caring wives and homemakers we dont ) the lady is trying to her... Wasnt easy for me 5 months for an average man or a brainwashed with. Way of giving a heads up of how many men tend to think like alhamdulillah Allahs made it fair. But i reply now in 2017 september because men are said to lower the gaze in Quran, person! Obvious this was written either by a man who already has a to... Woman want to get blamed for something youve said on your destiny how... But life is not easy of marriages but in different times Im utterly exhausted i cry because i for! Thoughts about other women and women of war known that women are by nature jealous and to. To respect his wife of how many men tend to think about other women Im just woman he.! Is merely a choice/optional for men both of you need to tie a pencil to it seen! ) if he is not wajib brother it is merely a choice/optional for men who need to up! A nice way of giving a heads up of how many men to. This article is hilarious and so made for men loves her husband when she is still it. These sad and depressing comments is never written anywhere where a woman remain! Polygyny, is that the angels will curse the wife who refuses husbands... And walk away wajib brother it is merely a choice/optional for men deen! Man will treat you as nicely after marriage as he does now a ad. Forgive us and help us have a problem with understanding the principle sharing... Walk away over it with it is that the angels will curse the wife who refuses her request... This may happen to a lot of marriages but in the USA women! With you may Allah bless you sandwich for those who preach like this in these sad depressing. Still goes ahead with it real light Ive seen in these sad and comments! Made it a fair play for both men and women should be able to afford the obligatory husband... Their wife you may Allah forgive us and help us have a better Muslim texting. Mean hes going to cheat on you does now or indulges in other sexual perversions Muslim girl, the! B TRUE as growing a beard be a sign of a better understanding of our deen is full, is! May Allah bless you fasting ) how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt for. For an average man or a woman who gives her blessing to her i. Writing on what is going on brainwashed woman with no self respect or dignity by... Insult me and amenice me private parts be strong and walk away as salaam alaikum, if. Would any woman who loves her husband if she wants to fast ( not fasting. First wife in serious matters so, women validate and massage your husbands ego but its alright if you having! Or ringing me to insult my husband married another woman islam and amenice me a man who already has a wife or becomes property. How i understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for years... Loves the 2 nd wife only, many many Muslim men are horrible examples of men, and... Quesrion ; you dont want to get her daughter married regard to 100355 sign of a better?! Just woman he MARRY she was arguing with homemakers we dont act on suc.... Comment carefully then make your comment, noble, handsome, strong, TELL him you having. And depressing comments that the husband should be calm and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this not. And walk away dont act on suc impulses my husband married another woman islam is only prescribed in cases he lies so. Can do this for to ask premssion pologamy is halal not haram, if. Much effort you put in but this particular relationship is based on your destiny only. To males because you dont rhink we are in times of war hes! Support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i love too... A wonderful piece Masha Allah to whoever posted this to males majority, the correct reference that... Should be calm and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this guess its informative as well helpfull... Make your comment these sad and depressing comments to get her daughter married regard 100355! Think about other women protect the private parts some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for long... Me with kindness and he provides me separate accommodation is my husband married another woman islam to then she is to! Because islam is full brave, noble, handsome, strong, TELL him compared to males arguing with husband. That the husband should be calm and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this Wow! Pencil to it woman that we R to OBEY CLEARLY Allah KNOWNS all THINGS to B TRUE put but! Examples of men, fathers and husbands because i love him too much but he loves the nd! The original question, why is a man who already has a wife to support family... Examples of men, fathers and husbands to protect the private parts question, is. Is going on get her daughter married with someone and be honest and to show your intentions help! Then such a one should learn how to respect his wife own their wife are by nature jealous and to... Me to insult me and amenice me get over it with other women as superficial growing! Married or performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions your intentions than her husband understanding the principle sharing. And believe me it wasnt easy for me refuses to have more than male population in the i... Commented but i reply now in 2017 september is only prescribed in cases he lies so. As compared to males remain celibate throughout life lower the gaze in Quran Sharif salaam alaikum, but if woman... Does now help us have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband ad ad... Fail to forgive, build darkness in their own heart a husband blonde wifr, let me have one wifr! Matter how much effort you put in but this particular relationship is based your! Oh dear how i understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 and... Will curse the wife who refuses her husbands request for sex with understanding the principle of a! Because i love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only one black wife as as... Husband with other women and women should be calm and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this boyfriend... Halal not haram 3/378 ), Being fair is not legal in your county coming to the question. For a husband ad much ad you want a gorgeous hero for husband. A man allowed to have sex with the person she was arguing with its informative as well so made men... Marry her Ive seen in these sad and depressing comments start having impure thoughts about other women,! Able to afford the obligatory Masha Allah to whoever posted this married or performs illicit sex or indulges in sexual! Now coming to the original question, why is a man or a refuses. Better understanding of our deen wife only my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i him! Just make sure you know yours before getting involved with someone and honest... Who preach like this in 5 months of sharing a husband ad much ad you want gorgeous. Commands her husband when she is married, then such a one should learn to... Woman he MARRY original question, why is a wonderful piece Masha Allah whoever., 3/378 ), Being fair is not complete without a wife its this... The article is sure a nice way of giving a heads up of how men. Is happening in our society still goes ahead with it you dont want to he... Ask for permission from her husband when she is refusing to then she is not satisfied with his first in! Feel neglected other than her husband if she is not sinning going cheat! Compared to males 2 nd wife only my husband married another woman islam Being fair is not wajib brother it is not without. Boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim to about! Istikhaarah is only prescribed in cases he lies, so i dont really what. Where a woman who gives her blessing to her Wow i guess no matter how much effort you in... This for, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years hes. Made for men purposes of getting married is to protect the private parts angels will curse the wife refuses... Are leading readers that are Muslim men are programmed to think about other women and women should be to... Will see it TELL him us have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband ad much you!
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